Waiting no more...

Baby A was born at 12:21 PM on Monday.
She weighed 6 lbs, 14 oz, and she is 20 1/2 inches long.
Mother and baby are still recovering and trying to figure out how to work together. We're elatedly exhausted!

Baby Watch 2009: Bonus Day One

To extend the vacation metaphor just a bit, today is like getting to the airport to find all flights out of paradise have been canceled. I'm packed, I have no hotel room, I'm at the airport, I paid for the flight, and it's inconvenient all around. Still, I'm in paradise. I can sit back, kick up my heels, and have every excuse to be lazy, calm, and relaxed for as long as it takes for those planes to start moving again.

Of course, planes out of paradise usually fly in fair weather, so I'd likely be dealing with a doozie of a hurricane or some threat of terrorism. Luckily the conditions in my womb are quite a bit more sunny, which I believe may be encouraging little one to stay put. I can only hope that she will soon realize that life out here is paradise, too. It will be so even more when she joins us.

Baby Watch 2009: Day Zero

D-day...due date...the final countdown...the big day has come and almost gone without fanfare or screaming, sweat or tears. Yes, I'm still pregnant and have to figure out some way to count back up from zero starting tomorrow. Perhaps my darling daughter will come in the night and save me the trouble?

I am finished. I have completed an entire pregnancy-a whole gestation. I feel a sense of accomplishment in making it all the way through with a healthy mom and baby. As an impatient person, I rarely see things through to the end. Today, I can say with pride that I did not bail out early. (In all fairness, had I any choice in the matter, I would have ended this journey WEEKS ago.) Still, I went the long haul and am going to take credit for maintaining my sanity, at least.

The thing I like today about being pregnant is the quiet. She may let me know that she's still here with her twisting and turning, but there is no noise. I can enjoy television, reading, relaxation, and sleep in utter silence if I choose...for now.

Baby Watch 2009: Day One

Oh yes, one more day of gestation for me! I am so, so, so excited to be here, on day 279 of a projected 280 journey. Just like packing the luggage for the homeward voyage after a long vacation, there is some nostalgia as I say goodbye to pregnancy.

I'm going to miss my more liberal diet. I'm not into calorie restriction, but I will definitely not be eating sugar to encourage baby's movement after birth.

I'm going to miss my sanitary protection. A panty liner is so much more discreet than the adult diapers I'll be wearing for the next three to five weeks.

I'm going to miss my baths. Somehow, I don't think a seven pound infant will much enjoy sitting in a bouncer for hours while I soak to "relieve tension."

I'm going to miss feeling the baby move beneath my skin. I was so blessed to be in tune to my body and my baby this time around, sensing her senses as if we were both spiritually and physically linked.

I'm going to miss my family's fascination with my belly. Watching my husband stare at me with pride and feeling my son's delicate fingers "hugging" his sister are joyful memories that I hope to hold for years to come.

Maybe, I'll miss the opportunity to excuse sudden bursts of tears and emotions. Perhaps those around me will be willing to forgive these eruptions for a few postpartum weeks.

Finally, I'll miss the easy blogging prompt every day. What will I talk about after day zero?

Baby Watch 2009: Day Two

Perhaps my overwhelming sense of urgency and expectation will soon be replaced with peace, calm, and vegetation. In fact, I'm almost sure that one scientifically proven consequence of delivering a human infant is a hormone-induced state of euphoria and adoration. When we see the infant, we have to fall madly in love. Otherwise, we'd run for the hills at the whiff of the first dirty diaper.

Yes, my mood and energy level will most certainly change when little baby is in my arms. Today, on this almost-due date eve, I appreciate the energy that runs through my body. I thank myself for the marathon grocery shopping spree of this afternoon, as well as this evening's colossal cook-off. I have meals prepared for at least a week, not including the leftovers that my gigantic portions have guaranteed. Ahhh, sweet motivation: I value you!

And yet, dozing alongside my baby looks oh-so-appealing. Soon...

Baby Watch 2009: Day Three

Dear Baby:

Thank you so much for deciding to join our lives. I can tell you that you will be welcomed to a loving family. Each and every one of us has prayed for you, wanted you, and cared for you for more years than we have known you. When you arrive, you will be more adored than you ever imagined possible. Our family is full of love, and we have so much to go around that we needed another member to share it. We love you already, and we can't wait to spend the rest of our lives showing you how valuable you are.

Even though we have never seen or touched you, we feel like we know you. We have watched you move in your little womb for the past several months. We have seen you respond to your mother's laughter, your brother's hugs, and your father's pleas that you be born immediately. Forgive us our impatience, as we are simply aching to know you more.

When you do enter our physical world as you have occupied our mental space for so many years, you will meet your unique clan. You will learn to appreciate your mother's matter-of-fact treatment of just about everything. It's often tempered by your father's childlike wonder. Your brother has a quirky perspective on reality, which speaks of his creative and curious nature. Let's not forget the dog! Monty is a scruffy, puffy poodle who likes to rest on top of feet. If you drop something, he will chase it or pick it up, so we'll have to be careful.

We are excited to learn the lessons you are willing to teach us. In turn, we have so much to show you! Your father and brother will entertain you with video games. Your mother prefers books, so be prepared to listen to her read. In the spring, we will hike through the woods that border our yard. We love to investigate and search for things, so we will be on the lookout for mushrooms, bugs, and early spring blossoms.

As you grow, we will try to help you understand this crazy world you have entered. We will try to keep you safe, healthy, and happy in challenging situations. We are committed to giving you the tools to survive and to thrive-like good nutrition, education, and spirituality. However, we promise to acknowledge your individual wisdom, regardless of your age. We will respect your personal strengths and desires, and we will gladly mold our family atmosphere into an environment where we can all be comfortable. You are here because we wanted you, and we thank you for choosing our family. You're going to love it here!

Love,
Mom

*************************************
What I appreciate on my third day before baby is due: the anticipation. Being pregnant with a full-term fetus is like Christmas Eve every day. I'm just not sure when Santa's going to come!

Baby Watch 2009: Day Four

Sure I have to do the chicken walk at night, stepping ever so gingerly with each foot. I wait until the muscles and ligaments shift to hold my increasing weight. I stick out my butt for counterbalance, pull back my neck for momentum, and strike out again, carefully, with the other foot. Still, I can make pretty good time around the house. After I get going, the hips and pelvis are warmed up enough to allow me some reasonable range of movement. I can hold things with two hands, currently unencumbered by an infant, and I can get in the shower or use the toilet without worrying about looking out for baby. She may literally be a pain in the ass right now, but my beautiful daughter is as portable as she'll ever be. I could enjoy this for a few more days...

But I won't be sorry if I have to start carrying her in my arms instead of my hips.

Baby Watch 2009: Day Five

I enjoy the physical company of my husband. For so many years, we've been focused on making baby more than we've been focused on making love. First, it was the getting pregnant. Now, it's the going into labor. While pregnant lovemaking is difficult and somewhat uncomfortable, I'm going to miss it. After birth, we have to wait a minimum of six weeks to resume intimacy. I'm going to enjoy our opportunity to be together during this time, because it will certainly be over soon.

Baby Watch 2009: Day Six

I have six more days until my due date. I may be pregnant for more than six days; I may deliver this little girl today. Until then, I am going to enjoy my status as a pregnant woman. I don't generally enjoy being the center of attention, but pregnancy has its perks. As soon as I am just an accessory to my infinitely cuter daughter, I will no longer experience people's pampering. Some of the things I enjoy:

• People constantly ask me how I'm feeling.
• I always get gleeful greetings as people exclaim how good I look.
• I like being told that I "don't look that big."
• Everyone encourages me to eat. Everything. All the time.
• People expect me to wear comfy, casual clothing.
• I'm encouraged to rest, put my feet up, sit down, and relax.
• I haven't had to carry anything in about eight months.
• My belly is a conversation piece: everyone wants to share her birth experiences with me.
• Sympathy and solidarity: I'm every woman. Any woman, those having had children or not, will defend me to any man as if we're actually in a battle of the sexes. Usually, no defense is necessary, but I'm suddenly a poster child for femininity.

It's unfortunate that when we actually have children, we women tend to attack and belittle one another's parenting skills instead of support each other defiantly as we did in pregnancy. I'm not looking forward to that part!

Baby Watch 2009: Day Seven

In a few days, I'll no longer be able to soak in the bathtub and laugh at my belly sticking up like a Thanksgiving turkey.

In a few days, I'll no longer have an excuse to wear tennis shoes to work every day.

In a few days, I'll be changing diapers.

In a few days, I won't be nearly as convincing when I say I *NEED* chocolate.

But in a few days, I'll be holding my precious little girl in my arms instead of my hips. I will see the manifestation of a dream my husband and I had years and years ago. I will be a glowing new mother for the first time in 9 1/2 years.

Until then, I am appreciating these luxuries of pregnancy. I'm also happy that I can easily attend our evening event without the worry of a sitter for a newborn.

Baby Watch 2009: Day Eight

The countdown began several days ago, but tomorrow begins the traditional last week of pregnancy. As I round out my 39th week and approach D-day, 1/31/09, I will appreciate my efforts at being pregnant on a daily basis. OH, how I hope I don't need to post an entire week's worth of Baby Watches. Even worse, going longer than 40 weeks would require me to create some mathematical way of expressing extra time. Since I'm not a numbers person, I would rather not deal with that possibility. Everyone knows that being this pregnant is no fun, but I will use this space to make an attempt at enjoying these last few days. So here's the kickoff: ONE WEEK TO GO!!!

Symptoms/Annoyances

• indigestion/heartburn
• pelvic pain
• low back pain
• foot pain/swelling
• hunger
• trouble sleeping
• mood swings

Baby's Mood

• happy
• very active
• responsive

Mom's Mood

• disappointed
• tired
• healthy

Joys/Thrills

• almost there!
• 39 full weeks!
• feeling baby moving
• knowing she's safe
• everything's in place

Baby Mania Notification #8

I have a maternity belt. Wednesday was a rough day. With bad weather and two appointments booked almost on top of each other, I was running myself ragged. Stressed by the road conditions and my ever-burgeoning gut, I wondered if I could make it through the day. On a whim, I called my chiropractor from my obstetrician's office. Perhaps, maybe, there could be a chance that there was some support device in their office to help a woman of my...stature. I was thinking of a thick Ace bandage or a roll of industrial duct tape. Theoretically, a corset or old tube sock could do something to help me.

Instead, the ever-accommodating office manager found a crumpled up box containing a twisted Velcro apparatus. She said I could use it free of charge for the rest of my pregnancy! That was a great price for the unknown duration of between five minutes and five weeks. Despite my already unreasonably hectic schedule, I drove by the office to pick up my prize.

Ahhhh! Relief!
At first, I didn't realize that two separate pieces worked as the front and the back of the main belt, so I wondered if I had really gained six dress sizes during pregnancy as I tried to fit approximately 32 inches of elastic around my seeming 90 inch abdomen. Laughingly, my co-habitator, sperm donor, and constantly comedic critic offered his assistance and the missing link. I had flashbacks to a previous life of literal corset wearing as husband stretched, pulled, and forced my belly into the tight constraint. Still, I only wanted to wear it tighter. The lift was divine-the support heavenly. My hip and pelvic pain were instantly reduced, and I was able to step down confidently rather than tentatively for the first time in a week. Two hours later, I knew I was in love.

I would never have purchased such an item for myself. The practicality of a maternity belt in a time of unknown pregnancy length is simply too much risk. However, I will absolutely purchase one for my next pregnancy, if there ever is such an event. If you know of someone who is pregnant, a maternity belt would be a perfect gift. It's that one thing we never think we will need, we would never buy for ourselves, and we would never give up once we've tried it.

In baby news: Mama's happier; baby's happier. I feel that I might actually be able to endure two more weeks of pregnancy with the help of this support. Still, I would love to meet my daughter tomorrow.

Baby it's cold outside...

So I guess it's fully expected that my adorable fetus will stay firmly planted between my tailbone and Tuesday, where it's a balmy 97.3 degrees on most days. Still, it would be nice to have a few days of paid maternity leave, since my place of employment has closed its doors to the cold weather. I sit here typing in my layers of warmth, appreciating the fact that at least I get to take some time in these last days of pregnancy to relax and rest. In just two weeks, I will be a mother again.

Baby Mania Notification #7

I'm still pregnant. I am enjoying the baby's movements through the day, and I am loathing my hip and abdominal aches at night. I'm thinking of buying a maternity belt, but I'm hoping to go into labor within the next five minutes. Will I ever get to use it?

Lukewarm: The Last Lecture

As promised, I will review my recent read. So I don't sound like a speed reader or complete hermit, I will let you know that I have been working on this book since early December in preparation for a book club meeting that I ultimately was not prepared to attend. I did read enough of the book before the meeting to be able to converse somewhat intelligently about it, but I did not complete the assignment. I hope to do better with this month's selection, the next on my reading list.

I have to agree with my good friend Deb, who said that Pausch comes off a bit pompous in certain parts of the book. We have to allow a bit of self-aggrandizing on his part, though. He admits to immodesty, he was dying when he wrote it, and he was leaving a legacy for his kids. For those reasons, I forgive him. Regardless, the superiority of his delivery sometimes interfered with the simplicity of his message. In his message, there are many lessons we can remember. My favorites:

• Live in the now
• Never give up
• Pursue your childhood dreams

I like book clubs because they give us reasons to start conversations that usually only occur at slumber parties and idealistic first dates. Who among us would ever ask a friend, "What are your three top childhood dreams?" Who among us has recently asked ourselves that question? In this virtual book club, I want to ask you to comment: What are your top childhood dreams? Mine:

• To get a Ph. D.
• To be a mother
• To write a book

Well, maybe someday. And I do have to add one last jab-Pausch certainly does not seem like a feminist, and I was relatively unimpressed with the way he talked about his wife.

My Reading List

I may as well write this down here, since I have it floating in my head. I will read the first two books first, then the rest as I feel moved. I will stick to it; I will write a review as I read each one.
The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch
A Mercy by Toni Morrison
Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult
If I am Missing or Dead... by Janine Latus
Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes
Something else new by Gary Taubes; I'll update as soon as I find the title.

Baby Mania Notification #6

I saw something online yesterday, and it's part of the reason I wanted to reignite this blog. The Internet provides us with so much conflicting information, and we can get sucked up in the mumble. One of my goals this year was to streamline my online time, and I hope that, eventually, this blog will assist me and my readers in that task. There is media online that is worthwhile, and there are countless opportunities to drain our productivity and energy. What I saw was an example of the former, a video encouraging us all to go with the flow of our lives rather than fight against the grain. You can view this video, too.

In the spirit of going with the flow and in the promise I made yesterday, I have decided to take note and take joy in my pregnancy today. What a wonderful day it has been! Little Poof finally awoke from her laziness around two in the afternoon. Who can blame her for being so lethargic after the trial we endured on Wednesday? I'm sure that the cramping, the contractions, the dehydration, and the puking took their toll on her little body as much as they affected me. I could barely get off the couch as I recovered yesterday; how could I expect a tiny fetus to bounce back faster?

I told little Poof last night that I would understand if she needed more rest, and I would not get anxious if I didn't feel her as often as usual. Still, I asked my unborn daughter, I would appreciate a gentle reminder from time to time that she's still kicking...literally. She obliged with little movements that can only be described as tickles. I know her hands are near her head, and I could feel her fingers wiggle through the night. No rolling, or tossing, or turning awoke me. She was mostly still, though clearly active. Her relaxation gave me the opportunity to sleep through the night, but she blessed me with reassurance at every turn.

As an aside, I don't talk to this baby nearly as much as I talked to my little Poop ten years ago. I was so vocal with that little guy, convinced that he could hear me and would learn my voice. I'm not any less certain now that our unborn children get to know us long before they're born. Instead, I'm more comfortable with the idea that they know us intimately, without the need for vocalized human communication. I feel that Poof can feel my thoughts, emotions, and desires. When I start to get really worried about her, she responds with a nudge, a tickle, or a shake. I rarely have to ask her for what I need; she usually understands.

In her understanding way, my daughter took care of my emotional need to feel her presence through our recovery from illness. I appreciated and thanked her for her perseverance, knowing that she was a tired lass. When she finally began to feel herself again, I was delighted at her rolling and kicking. She has less power in her limbs these days, as she has less room to move. Still, she used her knees and hips to get the message across loud and clear: "I'm still here, Ma! Don't worry about me."

It's no wonder that with her infinite infant wisdom and her ability to teach me patience and calmness already, that I would be willing to defer to her more divine plan. My plan is selfishly guided by things like sick days, pant sizes, and hip pain. Her plan is uniquely constructed to align with the most auspicious day for her birth and the greatest chance for her health. Which is more important? I surrender to her wisdom and embrace these discomforts of pregnancy that I have longed to endure for so many years. Going with the flow sure feels great.

Baby Mania Notification #5

All complaining aside, I am glad to be pregnant. Sure, the little one would likely be fine if born today and would have at most a very short stay in the NICU without me. Still, after almost giving birth yesterday and dealing with UNHOLY pain, I am here to eat my words from the past two posts.

Compared to rolling upper abdominal cramps that cause me to double over in pain, I am glad to feel the strangely comforting uterine contractions. Compared to constant vomiting, constant urinating is a joy. Compared to sitting in the hospital receiving fluids and anti-emetics, sitting in the hospital for routine fetal monitoring is blissful. (Though I must admit that the fluids and meds were SO GOOD!) Compared to illness, an uncomfortable, healthy pregnancy is a welcome state of affairs.

I vow to appreciate these last few weeks of pregnancy, whatever their number. I went into this experience excited to be pregnant again and determined not to take a moment for granted. I wanted this child, this opportunity, this joy. I want to remember the ups and the downs as a natural part of my life and the beginning of my baby's. I will focus on loving every minute of it, just as soon as I finish my chicken broth and saltines.

Baby Mania Notification #4

From reading other mommy blogs, I think I'm supposed to be whiney, bitchy, and complainy. I will oblige, but not without this disclaimer: My current discomfort is a welcome sacrifice for the blessings this baby will bring to my life. I am so happy and excited to be pregnant, and I appreciate the opportunity to feel like crap.

This particular brand of crap feels, well, like crap. Even after taking a craptastic crap that had to rival the size of the infant growing in my womb, I continue to feel as though I'm carrying around eight extra pounds of manure. So much crap, that I feel sick to my stomach. Like a disgusting South Park episode, I worry that I'm about to start crapping out my mouth, is how full of crap I feel.

The crap has solidified into a bowling ball sitting firmly within my pelvis, forcing me to stagger along like a drunken pregnant woman. The only thing funnier to an insensitive bystander would be if I decided to purchase condoms while walking around drunkenly pregnant.

Lest you be confused by my crapilicious metaphor, it's not constipation that plagues me. It's the settling of the infant in my "cradle of life." Ahh, the cradle which in different times would function as the chief vehicle for my legs, and the under appreciated foundation for any type of comfortable repose. Since walking and sitting are out of the question, perhaps I could gently rest my hips in bed as I nod off into peaceful slumber. HA! After fifteen minutes on one side, I need to spread the torturous agony to the other hip. This turning keeps me *aware* in the late hours.

I guess, since I'm close to the due date, I could always attempt to speed the birthing process along with some natural methods. The most common method, of course, is making love. Riiiiight...I feel like I'm currently birthing a watermelon, and the advice I get is to shove even MORE junk in there? This ridiculous suggestion is the reason that these natural induction methods are myths. Who has ever tried it?

Baby Mania Notification #3

I am 36 weeks, 3 days pregnant. I have 25 days to go until my fetus is complete. Presumably. However, I have passed that imaginary threshold that all pregnant women know...my line of contentment. I am no longer happy to be pregnant. I am no longer fearful of going into labor early. I am no longer scared that the baby will be worse off if she were born yesterday. I am no longer loving this.

Of course, I'd gladly do it a hundred times over for the blessings I know this baby will bring to my life. But if we could just fast forward the next three and three-quarters weeks, I'd be gladder still. This baby feels ready. She is moving appropriately, she should weigh about six and a half pounds at this point, and my body is shifting into discomfort. Keeping her in is becoming work; and I look forward to the work of labor to get her out.

Biologically, this period of discomfort must be required. Can you imagine how we would approach labor if we still felt as blissful as we did in our second trimesters? They would have to push us, screaming, into the delivery room. "NO! I can wait! She's not ready-I'm not ready! This is fine, fine, fine!!! I'm okay!" So I take comfort in the presumption that my irritability, irrational worry, waddling, swollen ankles, insomnia, and general crappiness are biologically permissible. I am not a whiner-I'm a fighter! We women have to be damn frustrated in order to be emotionally prepared for the hard work ahead.

This is it-I'm damn tired of being pregnant.

SOCKS!

Quick tip: Folding Socks

One of my least favorite chores is folding socks. It's really so simple, so I'm not sure why I put it off until my son is begging for clean socks. Last time I folded socks, I came up with this simple solution.

1. Place all socks in a laundry basket.
2. Sort socks by toe thread color by draping each green stitched sock over one side of the basket, each pink stitched sock over another, and so on.
3. If you have more than four colors of toe stitching, leave those extras in the basket. I also leave colored socks in the basket.
4. Working on one side at a time, match socks of similar wear together.
5. ALWAYS throw out socks that are threadbare, or you can mend them immediately. HA!!!
6. If you have lots of types of socks, repeat the process with four more thread colors.
7. Match the colored socks that are still in the basket.
8. Save any unmatched socks in a separate basket for next time.

Piece of cake! (Ummm...cake sounds good. I need to find a quick recipe.)

Nursery Images!!!

I love getting ready for baby. I love decorating and making the house look like a home, and the nursery is the perfect place to start. It's a fresh room-clutter free-that we can make into whatever we choose. Anticipating baby only makes the decorating process more exciting. We painted the room in a pleasant spring green to make it more versatile, then we started filling it with various pieces of furniture and accessories. I like to save money, so the cheaper the better! When decorating on a budget, it's always good to have a long time to seek out and collect random items. Reassigning furniture and objects that are already in the home can also save money.


The dresser and chest of drawers were originally in our master bedroom, but are much more nursery appropriate. The bed is a repainted garage sale find that I picked up in September. We purchased the crates after the back-to-school clearance sale in 2005, and the footstool was hanging around somewhere storing pet toys. Total NEW furniture cost, including paint and mattress: $101.00.

The bedding, from JCPenny, shows off the black and white motif in the room. Accessories from Big Lots helped me to keep my budget in range, and coupled with hand-made flower arrangements, still look like a million bucks! I love the peaceful room, and I'm sure my daughter and I will enjoy many calm moments within these walls.

Wealth Management Folder Instructions

One could say that organization in general is a hobby of mine. I have a collection of empty boxes. I like totes, organizers, and cubbies. I salivate over dividers. The more compartments in any given space, the better. I also like labels and labeling things. Perhaps I'm crazy? I want everything to be in an individual compartment with like items, labeled appropriately. One of my favorite organizers is the classic bill-paying organizer, the compact desktop furniture that features 31 individual slots for bills above a pull-out drawer for stamps and checks.

Alas, I'm also cheap. Years ago, I decided to take the same concept as inspiration for creating a bill paying (or, as I like to put it positively, wealth management) folder. I stopped using the folder for one reason or another. It may have been packed at the bottom of a box of paperwork during a move. As I investigated ways to streamline in '09, I rediscovered my wealth management folder, and I have to say that I've been pretty pleased so far. To make your own, you will need:

• A simple three-prong folder, binder, or a fancier take on the same theme
• Three top loading heavy-duty sheet protectors
• Five binder dividers with folders
• An ultra-fine dry erase marker
• At least four pieces of card stock for your printer; printed with:

1. A 2009 calendar
2. Your 2009 Budget
3. Your Budget Tracker (One or two pages listing each budget category where you can record flexible expenditures as you make them.)
   
4. Your Monthly Debits (A table of recurring monthly expenses, their due dates, average cost, and column for six months of recording the date paid.)
   

Step One: Gather all supplies; the budget may take awhile.
Step Two: Place the items into the folder in the following order: Calendar, Budget Tracker, Monthly Budget, Monthly Debits, Binder Dividers
Step Three: On each pocket, write "DUE DATE" Beneath it, write the days of the month: 1, 2, 3..." etc. Write three days on each pocket; but four days on the last pocket (28, 29, 30, 31).
Step Four: Label and decorate the front of the folder with "Wealth Management." Make it pretty! On the inside pocket of the folder, you will need to write "Attention," or "Special," or "Supplies." On the back inside pocket, write "File."
Step Five: As bills arrive, open them immediately. Place each bill in the pocket which corresponds with its due date. If the bill is for a donation or other special expense, place it in the front pocket.
Step Six: As you pay bills, mark each bill on your Budget Tracker and your Monthly Debits page, using your dry erase marker. Place each paid bill in the back of your folder.
Step Seven: Each expenditure should be tracked on your Budget Tracker. Use the figures from last month on your Monthly Budget to guide your spending in the following months.
Step Eight: At the end of the month, transfer your values from the Budget Tracker to your Monthly Budget. File the bills at the back of your folder. Look at any paperwork still stored in your front pocket. Erase the Budget Tracker to prepare for next month. You may choose to print out or copy your Monthly Budget for future reference or to track your progress.
Step Nine: At the end of each six-month cycle, reevaluate your budget to make necessary changes. Transfer the values from your Monthly Debits page to a paper document for your records. Edit the Monthly Debits to reflect changes in your monthly cashflow. Replenish any broken or tattered pages.
Step Ten: Feel good; you have kept up on your monthly financial obligations and are able to focus on your long-term financial goals because the daily tasks are now almost automatic. Congratulations! As an added bonus, you can use the pockets to store birthday cards on their perfect send out dates.

Why not use a digital tracking system like Quicken or Money? It will do all these things, but will also produce amazing, attractive reports and synch with your bank account information, too. It's all automatic! That's the problem. Regardless of how automated we become, there is still paperwork that demands management and filing. If you're like me, you feel obligated to "handle" this paperwork somehow, to track, document, and guide your spending. This folder helps me to keep hold of that thin thread of control over my finances. When my online banking offers similar spending software, and all my bills are automatically deducted from my checking account, I'll probably give up my folder. Until then, the system works for me.

Focus

In my welcome message, I talked about trying to maintain focus in the overwhelming stream of constant information and responsibility. Not to further overwhelm myself or the reader, I will list the various strands of responsibility which demand my attention and consideration. These are the strands that I constantly seek to manage, detangle, and expertly weave together into the beautiful, though functional fabric which sustains my family. These are the areas that I hope to address in the mumble throughout the year with my personal techniques and advice found online.

Possible 2009 Blog Topics

• nutrition
• child discipline
• child care providers
• education/early childhood education
• philosophies in child rearing
• spirituality/religious training of children
• time management
• space organization
• decorating
• financial organization
• wealth management
• digital information organization
• working outside the home
• marriage maintenance
• conflict management
• personal growth
• ecological conservation
• hobbies (mine include photography, general crafting, writing, memory keeping, and reading)
• lots of others!

And so it begins...

My one resolution this year is simple: I will not put unrealistic expectations and undue pressure on myself, others, and situations. Instead, I will enjoy moments for their worth and do what I can to make them more delightful for all involved.

In the past 24 hours I have done a great deal of reflecting and predicting. Plenty of goals and dreams rushed through my head, and I'd be a foolish liar to pretend that I don't intend to pursue those dreams. However, one of my great strengths of 2008 was my ability to be present and aware of the experiences I had the opportunity to share with loved ones. Sure, I'm still ambitious, but ambition is worthless if I'm always looking ahead and never looking right here.

In 2009, I will sit back, relax, and enjoy the blessings that I know will be mine.
I will take joy in the doing, knowing that each moment is a luscious step in my journey of growth.
I will accomplish much through my attitude of awareness and appreciation.
I will look back at this moment a year from now in amazement of how wonderful 2009 has been.

Today, those little steps included a few timely issues. I updated my 2008/2009 holiday gift list, outlining gifts received last year and a budget for next year. I excitedly checked off three recipients as "finished" on my list for next year! I read through my 2008 goals, reflected on them, and predicted the course of my year. This one's going to be great!